Mixed Greens with Olive Oil and Parmesan

I remember eating this salad many times at my Aunt Cindy and Uncle Kent's lake house.  Especially the dinner where my Mom argued the filet mignon was much too rare for my 12 year old self. I stuffed salad in my mouth to avoid telling her I wanted that bloody steak. The fabulously tasty greens kept me occupied while my filet was sent to a well-done death. So, this salad has two things going for it: it's delicious and a great confrontation avoider.

Therefore, congrats! You can now talk politics and religion all you want at the table-- just make sure this salad is there. Your guests will be too busy soaking up the olive-oily goodness that they won't want to respond to any heated debates. Now, who thinks the US would be better off in total anarchy? Or whether humans actually have free will? Of if well-done steak is disrespectful to the cow population?

Mixed Greens with Olive Oil and Parmesan  Serves: 2

2 cups mixed salad greens

2 T. extra virgin olive oil

1 t. balsamic vinegar

1.5 T. grated parmesan cheese

Salt

Pepper.

1.) Whisk olive oil, vinegar, and a pinch of salt and pepper together. Pour over greens. Add parmesan and toss. Serve with a nice, rare steak.

Octopus Sausage

You never know what may ensue once my sister and I are in close proximity. We laugh, we cry, we punch each other. Here are a few examples:

1. Ages 3 and 5: I convinced my little sister to walk home and make me a PB&J sandwich-- extra J, crusts removed. We (ahem...Mom) were cleaning the church and my tummy was growling. I didn't dare walk all the way home since it was so far, so I sent my minion to do it. She had her reservations, but I reassured her God would keep her safe in her PB&J quest since we just cleaned His house. All would've been good in the 'hood if my Mom hadn't walked out and seen Carolyn slinking down the sidewalk two blocks away.

2. Ages 10 and 12: We refurbished our Hot Wheels Barbie Jeep into a...janitor's cart. Never mind that the battery was totally shot and it didn't run. We took turns pushing each other to the make-believe barf piles and dust bunnies needing janitorial attention.  That's what sisters are for: teamwork.  We also installed a roof on the Jeep that consisted of an old umbrella and mass quantities of duct tape. It was to keep our cleaning supplies, well, clean.

3. Ages 19 and 21: We decided to make a spaghetti dinner together. But we couldn't just throw spaghetti and sausage together, of course. That'd be much too normal. We're always on the periphery of weirdness. So, we sliced the sausage links into bite-size, stuck three uncooked spaghetti noodles through them, boiled the monsters, and ended up with Octopus Sausages. Carolyn and I laughed so hard we could barely eat our creation. Then we punched each other.

Octopus Sausage   Serves: 2
2 precooked sausage links, cut in bite-sized pieces
Spaghetti or fettuccine, 3 uncooked strands per sausage bite
Tomato sauce, to serve
1.) Cut sausage links into bite sized pieces. Stick three uncooked noodles through each sausage piece. Place in boiling, salted water until spaghetti is al dente. Serve with warmed tomato sauce.

Lemony Broccoli and Parmesan Rice

I created this recipe with my Mom in mind. She birthed me (ew), taught me well (high-five!), and tolerated me when I dropped lit matches on carpeting and shut my butt in drawers (sorry).  So, naturally, a recipe is the least I can do. Literally.

I'll buy you an all-access pass to every Elton John concert in the future, Ma. Promise.

My Mom is a parmesan cheese fiend. If you ever go to a restaurant with her, make sure the waiter grates fresh parmesan over your salad first, or you won't get any.  "Parmesan-encrusted" are the keys to my Mother's heart-- no matter what the cheese happens to be encrusting. A tire? Ok! Sounds delicious! Although this side dish isn't "encrusted", it's still tasty and can be prepared quickly.  Serve with parmesan encrusted chicken, if you dare.

Lemony Broccoli and Parmesan Rice      Serves: 2
1/4 cup white rice
1/2 cup water
1 cup broccoli florets (fresh or frozen)
2 T. parmesan cheese
1 t. butter
2 t. lemon juice
Coarse Salt
Fresh Cracked Pepper
1.) Add rice and water to a pot and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and cook for 15 minutes. Remove from heat.
2.) Meanwhile, steam the broccoli florets. You can do this in a steamer basket over boiling water for about 3 minutes, or go ghetto style and place broccoli in a bowl with 1 T. water, cover with a place, and microwave for 2-3 minutes.
3.) Add steamed broccoli to the rice and stir in parmesan cheese, lemon juice, butter, and a dash of salt and pepper. Top with more parmesan, if desired.

Cuban Sandwich

No exotic ingredients make up a cuban sandwich: ham, pork, swiss cheese, yellow mustard, and a pickle on french bread. But the result tastes amazing. I believe it's amazing enough to finally lift the ban on Cuba. I mean, really. A country that produces fantastic sandwiches can't be all that bad. Even the Castros would probably enjoy a good burger with a slice of american cheese.

Food unites us all, y'all! (Paula Deen's future campaign slogan.)

I first experienced the cuban sandwich in Miami, aka the next closest thing to Cuba. It tasted especially good because my sister and I were dangerously close to picking off the wildlife at some fancy mansion/ museum we were at. My parents look at everything.  


Mom/ Dad- Did you see the doorknobs on the third floor bathroom closest to the ocean?
Me/ Carolyn- No, we were taking pictures of the statue's naked butt in the garden. Can we eat now?
Mom/ Dad- Sigh.



Cuban Sandwich   Serves: 1
1 (4-5 inch) section of french bread, sliced lengthwise
1 pork cutlet, purchased thinly sliced
2 slices deli ham
1 slice swiss cheese
1 pickle, sliced lengthwise
2 t. butter
Yellow Mustard
Mayonnaise
Salt
Pepper
1.) Heat a drizzle of oil in a small skillet over medium-high heat. Salt and pepper the pork cutlet, and cook for about 2 minutes on each side, or until it reaches 160 degrees. Remove and set aside.
2.) Preheat sandwich press/ George Foreman. Spread a teaspoon of butter on the insides of each bread slice. Assemble the sandwich with the buttered sides facing out. 
3.) Top the first bread slice with the swiss cheese, pork, ham, and pickle. Spread a bit of mayo and healthy dose of mustard on the other bread slice and place on top. Place on sandwich press and cook until the bread is golden and inside is heated through.

Italian Sausage Chili

I am a cold weather wimp. Once the temperature starts dipping below 73 degrees, I crave hearty, fall weather foods. Chili and cornbread were on my mind after a particularly cold and rainy 68 degree day.

Yikes. What will I be eating once winter comes along? Molten lava?

A quick search on AllRecipes.com came up with this beauty of a recipe.  The guy who submitted it claims he can barely boil water, but I think that's a load of crap. My roommate Molly, the resident chili/cornbread expert, exclaimed this to be the best chili she's ever had. The italian sausage is an odd addition to chili, but the spices "give it an extra kick." (-Molly.)  Save this recipe for the chilly months ahead, or if you're a pansy to cold weather like me, make it tonight. Wimps unite!

Italian Sausage Chili   Serves: 2
1 celery rib, chopped
1 small onion, diced
1/2 red pepper, chopped
1 T. vegetable oil
1 hot italian sausage link, casing removed
1 (15 oz) can stewed tomatoes, undrained
1 cup canned kidney beans, drained
1 cup water
5 T. tomato paste
3/4 t. chile powder
1/2 t. salt
1/2 t. pepper
Sour cream and shredded cheddar, to top
1.) In a pot over medium heat, saute celery, onion, and pepper in vegetable oil.
2.) In a separate skillet, crumble sausage and brown over medium-high heat. Set aside.
3.) Add the cooked sausage, tomatoes, beans, water, tomato paste, and seasonings to the onion/celery/pepper pot. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer for 20-30 minutes to thicken. Top with sour cream and cheese.

Pasta Caprese

My dearest, darlingest, butt-faced, skeezy little sister is all grown-up and moved into her first apartment. Her punching me in the stomach, only after watching a particularly intense episode of Power Rangers, feels like yesterday. Sigh.

I made this recipe with her in mind. For one, she'd eat caprese salad for breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, and dessert. And as a midnight snack. And probably in place of her own birthday cake. Second of all, it's really freakin' easy to make. Not that I'm implying she's incapable of following a more complex recipe, but Carolyn has little patience. She has a history of breaking into bathrooms with hairpins when someone (ahem, me) took too long with the hair routine.

So here's a simple and awesome recipe to break in your new kitchen, sister.  And yes, I expect you to make this for me.

Caprese Pasta     Serves: 2
2 cups small or medium sized pasta, cooked and cooled
1/4 cup fresh mozzarella, diced
1/2 cup cherry tomatoes, sliced lengthwise (seeded if watery)
2 t. extra virgin olive oil
1 t. balsamic vinegar
1/2 t. dried italian seasoning
Coarse Salt
Freshly Ground Pepper
1.) Combine pasta, mozzarella, and tomatoes in a medium sized bowl.  In a small bowl, whisk olive oil, balsamic vinegar, italian seasoning, and a dash of salt and pepper until combined. Pour over pasta and toss to coat.

Burrito Bowls--and the 100th post.

We've reached a milestone here at the College Culinarian: the 100th post. Therefore, I think this momentous occasion calls for a pretty special recipe... Jell-o shots! Jell-o shots! 


Just kidding, Grandma Mea.

It's a rip-off restaurant recipe: the "naked burrito bowls" from Qdoba. Billions (approx.) of mexican restaurants seem to hover within 2 feet (approx.) off college campuses. I guess students have a thang for copious amounts of cheese and beans. Or maybe sombreros just tickle their fancy.

The burrito bowls at Qdoba are my favorite, but the cost really adds up. Especially because guacamole is a whole dollar more. I mean, guac is delicious, but a dollar for 2 tablespoons of avocado mush? And really, Qdoba, I'm saving you money since the bowls come without that gigantic tortilla. So no, thanks. I'll make my own. Sombreros and jell-o shots will come later, as well.

Burrito Bowl   Serves: 1
1 cup cooked white rice
1 t. lime juice
Small handful of chopped parsley or cilantro
1 stalk green onion, sliced
1/3 cup black beans
1/4 cup corn (frozen or fresh)
3 cherry tomatoes, sliced
2 jarred jalapeno slices, minced
1/4 of an avocado, cut in chunks
2 T. cheddar or monterey jack cheese
1/4 t. chile powder
1/8 t. cumin
Salt
Pepper
1.) Stir lime juice, green onion, and parsley into the cooked rice. Season with a bit of salt and set aside.
2.) Heat a small skillet over medium-high heat. Add corn in a single layer and let toast for a few minutes until slightly brown. Switch heat  to low and add black beans, tomatoes, jalapenos, chile powder, cumin, and salt and pepper. Heat until warmed through.
3.) Place rice in a serving bowl and top with warmed beans. Place avocado and cheese on top. Season with salt and pepper, if needed. Serve with chips.

Chicken and Ricotta Panini

My first panini experience was a life-changer. I was probably around 10 or 11, the age when "sandwich" meant one of two options: PB&J or ham and cheese. It's also the age that I began recoiling at the term. You see, I brought my lunch to school religiously. I was smart enough to know that "steamburgers on a bun" was probably something I didn't want left steaming in my stomach. My 5th grade warning flags always stood at high alert when unidentifiable proteins graced the lunch menu. So no, thanks. I'll eat my 20384th ham sandwich.

Then on a trip to the rootin' tootin' big city of Chicago, I tried a panini, but mainly because I was freezing and probably had plans to smush the warm sandwich on my frozen face. But it looked too delicious to use as a heating device, so I ate the entire thing. It had different kinds of cheese and meat and bread that certainly was not Wonderbread. I make paninis quite often in college. They're fast and you can fill them with whatever you like. I'm thinking my next panini will include Steam meat.

Chicken and Ricotta Panini   Serves: 1
2 slices bakery italian bread
1/2 grilled chicken breast
1 T. ricotta cheese
1 thick slice of tomato
A few baby spinach leaves
Extra virgin olive oil
Sprinkling of dried oregano
Coarse Salt
Freshly Ground Pepper
1.) Preheat a panini maker/ George Foreman grill/ skillet (medium-high heat).
2.) Lay out the bread and drizzle a bit of olive oil over each on one side. Flip the bread over. On one slice, spread the ricotta cheese and top with the chicken. On the other, spread a little more ricotta on and add spinach leaves. Top chicken with the slice of tomato, and sprinkle with salt, pepper, and oregano. Place on the panini maker and cook until the bread is golden brown. Alternatively, place in a skillet and press with a spatula until one side browns, then flip and cook until the other side finishes. 

Lazy Lasagna

Sorry for the extremely late post. Let's just say water is spectacular at keeping humans alive, but not computers. Amen.


Lasagna is one of my favorite foods. I love digging in and uncovering what each cheesy layer has to offer. However, I have little patience for the actual baking process. C'mon, man. A 350 degree oven should melt the cheese in approximately 5 seconds, right? Also, layers and I don't get along well. Just ask my 7th grade hairstyle, which was a cute little Meg Ryan inspired flippy-do. But I only curled the sides of my head and left the back flatter than a french crepe. Hey, I couldn't see the back of my head, so probably no one else could see it, either! I bear a similar attitude to lasagna layering-- I just want to slap it together and be done with it.

This idea was the result of a broken oven combined with an angry, starving stomach. It's not your typical bubbly, oozy lasagna, but it still tastes and looks pretty fantastic-- much unlike my half-assed Meg Ryan 'do.

Lazy Lasagna    Serves: 1
2 lasagna noodles, each broken in half
2 T. ricotta cheese (or more to your taste)
1/2 of a large tomato (or a few small), sliced
1/2 of a small eggplant, sliced into rings
Couple of fresh basil leaves, torn
Salt
Pepper
Parmesan Cheese
1.) Place lasagna noodles in boiling, salted water. Cook until al dente and set aside.
2.) Meanwhile, heat a drizzle of olive oil in a medium sized skillet over medium heat. Add eggplant and cook until soft, about 10 minutes.
3.) Lay first lasagna noodle on a plate and spread on 1/2 T. ricotta cheese. Add a portion of the tomato and eggplant. Sprinkle on a bit of salt and pepper and toss in some basil. Repeat until all layers are completed. Sprinkle with parmesan cheese and more basil.