Mini-2 Week(ish) Break

Hello all!

I'm in the midst of moving to Waffle House country, starting grad school, and mastering folding a fitted sheet (It's impossible, I tell you!). So I'm going to put the brakes on college food blogging for a bit. Plus, I'm eating luxuries like this at home:

This leaves me with little time to experiment with how I can make beans taste like filet mignon. Especially when I've got real filets resting at my mooching fingertips. 

But I've got a whole gaggle of student-friendly recipes simmering on my brain's back burner. And if you have any recipe suggestions, I'd love to have them! Specifically ones that lessen one's urge to nervous pee constantly.

Thanks, readers!

Smoked Sausage Skewers

There I stood: hunched over the kitchen sink, muttering crustacean curses while tediously shearing shells off of a million shrimps. I bought them because, y'know, it's on my parents' dime while I'm at home, right? Might as well eat the expensive stuff while I can!

But while up to my elbows in shrimp poop, the seafood became less and less desirable. Then, an epiphany. (Hm, who knew excrement could stimulate the brain?)

I'd much rather be cracking open a can of beans, grilling a juicy chicken thigh, or creating dishes out of the outrageous variety of precooked sausages. What do these foods have in common? They're cheap! They're quick and perfect for students! They're tasty! And overall, college food can be dang delicious!

But I'm still ordering shrimp at restaurants when my 'rents are paying. I'll ingest them happily when someone else is de-pooping them.

Recipe has been scaled to serve one.
Smoked Sausage Skewers    Serves: 1
1 smoked sausage link, cut in bite sized pieces
2 button mushrooms, halved
1/4 sweet onion, cut in chunks
1/4 small zucchini, cut in chunks
2 T. BBQ sauce
Wooden or metal skewers
1.) Preheat grill. (Or, alternatively, you could cook them in a grill pan or broil in the oven.)
2.) Spear the sausage, mushrooms, onion, and zucchini on your skewers. Cook on the grill for a few minutes per side, or until vegetables and sausage are slightly charred. Near the end of cooking, baste with the BBQ sauce. Slide off the skewer and enjoy.

Mashed Avocado and Tomato Dogs

You've entered the sphere of honesty. And in this sphere, I will admit that given the choice between a hot dog and a steak, I'd go for the hot dog. Every. Time.

It's ok! Feel free to admit it, too!

...No, really. I need to have some "oh-no-you're-not-crazy" reassurance here.

A hot dog is like a starving artist's blank canvas, just in tubular meat form. They're affordable, tasty, and you can get creative with the toppings. I piled mashed avocado, tomato, and a dollop of sour cream on this dog with delicious results.

But I will never, ever squirt ketchup on an HD. Why? It would disappoint my Dad more than if I decided buttless chaps were a valid clothing option. And I'm just not willing to take that chance.

Mashed Avocado and Tomato Dogs   Serves: 1
1 hot dog
1 hot dog bun
1/4 avocado (preserve the rest by wrapping tightly in plastic wrap and refrigerating)
1 small tomato, seeded and chopped
1 T. sour cream
Salt
1.) Mash the avocado with a fork in a small bowl. Season with a pinch of salt. Set aside.
2.) Fast route: Warm up the hot dog in a microwave, usually about 1 minute. Or if you've got a grill, use it!

3.) Place the warmed dog in the hot dog bun and spread on the avocado. Add on the tomato and sprinkle with salt. Smear a bit of sour cream over the top and enjoy.

Frozen (Eggless!) Cookie Dough

YOU GUYS.

Remember when the US Constitution was ratified, Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb, and Justin Bieber was born?

Yeah, me either! But I imagine frozen cookie dough is almost as exciting!


Applesauce replaces the raw eggs, so you can cross chances of death off of your mental worrying list. (Unless you're deathly allergic to applesauce, of course. Or sugar. Or flour. Or fun in general.)

This recipe is especially great for students craving sweets in the dorm. Maybe it was just my freshman residence hall, but our oven tended to harbor crap like moldy Wonderbread and dirty band-aids. Just pop these in your clean, un-infested freezer. If you can wait to eat it, that is.

Tragedy in the form of towering ice cream buckets struck my precious cookie dough. This is a pre-smooshed iPhone photo. But they taste just as good smooshed. 

Frozen (Eggless!) Cookie Dough   Makes: About 2 dozen dough bites
1/2 stick butter + 1/4 cup applesauce
1/3 cup applesauce (You can't taste it. I swear.)
1 cup + 2 T. flour
1/2 cup chocolate chips
1/2 t. baking soda (for true cookie dough flavor)
3/4 t. salt
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/3 cup white sugar
1 t. vanilla extract

1.) Cream butter and sugars together until well combined. Add 1/4 cup applesauce and mix until fluffy. Add the remaining 1/3 cup applesauce and vanilla extract. Mix well.
2.) Whisk the flour, baking soda, and salt together in a separate bowl. Add all at once to the sugar mix and stir until incorporated. Fold in the chocolate chips.
3.) Scoop by the tablespoon onto a wax paper lined baking sheet. Freeze at least 3 hours.

Adapted from: Joy the Baker

Summery Pressed Pork Sandwich

The name for this recipe was quite the collaborative effort. With pork, peach, and provolone cheese, it's basically one big alliteration sandwich. But alliteration isn't sexy, and neither is the term "pork" really, so my sister and I set to work.

Does anyone else cringe at pork? I don't know, it's just....yeech-- an unattractive word.

So here's the rough list we created. Many resulted in eruptions of laughter:

-Peachy piggy panini
-Peachy pork panini
-Oinker peach panini  (Sidenote- Carolyn: "GOD, no.")
-Pressed pork panini
-Summery pressed pork panini
-Summery pressed pork sandwich-- Ding, ding! Now that's sexaaay.

But what's truly important here is the actual sandwich's flavor. Pork and fruit works so well together, and there's never anything wrong when cheese gets thrown into the mix. Thin sliced pork chops are usually pretty cheap, too. But if you're home for summer break, you can always swoop up the leftover thick-cut chops your Mom made for Sunday dinner.

Summery Pressed Pork Sandwich   Serves: 1
2 slices sandwich bread
1/2 large cooked pork chop (or 1 small), thinly sliced
1/2 peach, thinly sliced
1 slice provolone cheese
2 fresh basil leaves, torn
Salt
1.) Preheat a sandwich press/ George Foreman/ small skillet (over medium, if using).
2.) Place the pork and peace on one bread slice. Season with a pinch of salt. Layer the cheese and basil on the same slice. Top with the second slice of bread.
3.) Lay sandwich on your sandwich cooker of choice and press until golden brown. If using a skillet, butter the outsides of both bread slices. Press the sandwich with a spatula while cooking.

Feta Turkey Burgers with Tzatsiki

I've never been a huge fan of turkey burgers. Usually, I save my foam #1! finger for beef. They rarely come out tasting like the dry, styrofoam-ish poultry patties I've eaten in the past.

The secret to a truly good turkey burger is cheese. Granted, dairy fat detracts a bit from the health factor, but you don't need a gallon of feta to make this recipe good.

I cooked these for my family out on the grill. Next time, however, I'd probably either put them in a skillet or broil them-- these are fragile little suckers!

Be sure to cook the turkey burgers to 165 degrees, by the way. Serving undercooked poultry is a good way to give your family a bad case of the deads. (Or maybe just the shootie pooties.)

Feta Turkey Burgers   Serves: 2
1/2 lb. ground turkey
1/4 cup crumbled feta cheese
1 t. dried oregano
1/4 t. garlic powder
1 egg, beaten
Salt and pepper

For the tzatsiki sauce:
1/4 cup plain greek yogurt
1/4 cucumber, diced small
1/2 t. dried dill
Salt and pepper

Tomato slices
Hamburger buns

1.) Add the turkey, feta, and oregano to a bowl. Pour in half of the beaten egg and throw away the remaining egg. Season with salt and pepper and mix with your hands until just combined. Form into two patties, making a light dent with your thumb in the middle of each one. (This keeps them in "patty" shape while cooking.)
2.) Mix all tzatsiki sauce ingredients together in a small bowl. Set aside.
3.) Heat a skillet (or grill) over medium high heat. Add a drizzle of oil to the skillet and add the patties. Cook for 5 minutes per side, or until they reach 165 degrees (no pink!). Serve on buns with tomato and a dollop of tzatsiki sauce.

Garden Fresh Tuna Mac

I'm currently in school transition limbo. My old apartment lease in the Arctic Circle of Chicago ended July 1st and new one in the Tropics of Missouri doesn't begin until August 1st.

So I'm hanging at my parents' house. And if you ask me, it's a pretty good place to be. The Land of Parental Limbo has included steak, heated swimming pools, and a bundle of new bras to replace my bojankity ones thus far.

I can't start grad school with bojankity boobs...or bojankity anything, for that matter.

Anyways, I'm trying to cook when I can at home. I took on the tuna mac with a nervous heart. Tuna mac is a revered dish at home, you see, so screwing it up could have resulted in the return of all my sparkling, un-lumpy new bras.

Luckily it got two thumbs-up from the family! Benjamin Franklin could rise from the grave and say, "Yo, your tuna mac is MONEY", but I'd ask, "Yeah, but what does my Mom think?" I scaled down the recipe for two servings. Serve it to your Ma. Maybe she'll be pleased enough to buy you some new bras.

Garden Fresh Tuna Mac  Serves: 2

1 1/2 cups uncooked macaroni

1 celery stalk, chopped

1 green onion, sliced

Handful of fresh parsley, chopped

1 radish, chopped

1/3 cup greek yogurt

1/2 T. lemon juice

1 (4 oz) packet of tuna

Salt and pepper

1.) Cook the pasta according to package directions. Drain and rinse under cool water. Set aside.

2.) Add the celery, green onion, parsley, radish, tuna, and cooled pasta to a bowl. Fold in the greek yogurt and lemon juice until combined. (Add more yogurt if you want it creamier.) Season with salt and pepper. 

Tropical Chicken and Coconut Rice Bowl

If America had waltzed through my door on the 4th, this totally would've been her birthday dish. It's deliciousness merits serving for a special occasion. Then we could sing a rousing rendition of the Star Spangled Banner (not Christina Aguilera's version, of course) and contemplate how George Washington's wooden teeth stayed put before Polident's emergence.

But showing partiality to the tropical states (aka Hawaii) could prove a bit risky. How will the other 49 react? Will Texas chuck a perfectly smoked beef brisket at me? Will Iowa load a corn gun aimed for my heart? I can't deal with the contiguous pressure.

So happy (belated) birthday, America. Let's keep my tropical inclinations on the DL.

PS- The recipe seems like it has a lot of steps, but the whole shebang comes together in about 20 minutes. Fo' realz.

Tropical Chicken and Coconut Rice Bowl   Serves: 2
For the rice:
1/2 cup uncooked white rice
1/2 cup light coconut milk (unsweetened!)
1/2 cup water
1 green onion, sliced

For the pineapple salsa:
1/2 cup chopped fresh pineapple
1/2 jalapeno, seeded and diced
2 t. minced red onion
2 T. chopped fresh parsley
1/2 lime, juiced

For the chicken:
1 large boneless, skinless chicken thigh
1 T. brown sugar
2 T. soy sauce
Pinch of ground garlic AND ginger
2 t. water
1/2 lime, juiced

1.) Add the brown sugar, soy sauce, garlic, ginger, water, and lime to a bowl. Whisk together and pour into a ziploc bag. Add the chicken and marinate for at least 2 hours in the refrigerator.
2.) Pour the coconut milk, water, and rice into a pot. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and cook for about 15 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in the green onion. Season with salt. Cover to keep warm and set aside.
3.) Meanwhile, add the pineapple, red onion, jalapeno, and parsley into a small bowl. Squeeze in 1/2 the lime and season with salt. Set aside.
4.) Heat a grill pan/small skillet/George Foreman over medium high heat. Add a drizzle of olive oil (if using a pan) and cook the chicken for 5 minutes per side, or until it reaches 165 degrees. If using a Foreman, cook for 5 minutes.
5.) Add equal portions of rice to each bowl. Top with the pineapple salsa and equal amounts of sliced chicken.

Scrambled Egg Bagel Sliders

I majorly overestimated my muscle strength. At the time, my body seemed to be handling the big move from my apartment quite well.  A huge box of shoes? Pff- no problem! That glass and metal nightstand? Meet my biceps. My combination wood and metal desk? Oh, yeah. My trapezoids can handle hoisting it down the stairs by myself.

And then I woke up this morning.

And then I died.

And then I came back because God said I was really dumb for carrying a desk down an entire flight of stairs. He knows the chicken arms I have. He apparently also knows my mother, who bewilderedly said, "for graduating summa cum laude that was really dumb."

So I'm in need of some muscle-reparing protein. These sliders are loaded with protein. (and in cute form, too!) I wish my desk was mini-sized-- it would've been adorably more convenient to carry down stairs.

Scrambled Egg Bagel Sliders   Serves: 1
2 mini bagels
1 egg
1/2 T. bacon bits
1/2 green onion, sliced
Lettuce leaves, torn
1 T. sour cream
Salt and Pepper
1.) Crack egg into a bowl and scramble with a fork. Heat a small skillet over medium heat. Add a bit of butter or butter spray and add egg. Sprinkle in the green onion and bacon. Stir with a spatula until just cooked and remove from heat.
2.) Wipe out the skillet and place on medium high heat. Lightly butter or spray the cut sides of the bagels. Place cut side down in the skillet and toast until golden brown.
3.) Divide the egg mixture between bagels. Top with torn lettuce leaves and a scoop of sour cream.