Egg-in-a-Hole Grilled Cheese

I love the term "eggs-in-a-hole." So simple and to the point. And sort of cutesy. In fact, I think it may be grounds for a childrens' book. Hm, my story would go a little like this:

Eggs in a hole, eggs in a hole
Your protein buries into the bread, just like a mole!
Those cute, furry creatures used to dig in my dirt
Then my Dad stabbed them twelve and a half times with a pitchfork, and the blood went spurt spurt!


Maybe I'm not ready to write kid books just yet.
Or have kids.

But I'll always be down to eat this sandwich. I mean, what's better than a runny egg yolk? A runny egg yolk fraternizing with bread and cheese, that's what.

Egg-in-a-Hole Grilled Cheese     Serves: 1

2 slices sandwich bread

1 egg

1/4 cup grated cheddar cheese

2 t. butter or butter spray

Salt and pepper

1.) Use a drinking glass to cut the "hole" in one slice of bread. Flip the cup upside down, press, and remove the circle of bread.

2.) Butter (or spray) both sides of the bread. Heat a skillet over medium heat and lightly toast the bread on one side.

3.) After the first side is toasted, flip both slices, then crack the egg into the bread hole. Scatter the cheese on the other bread slice. 

4.) Sprinkle the egg with salt and pepper. Cook until the white is almost set, then cover for 15-20 seconds to allow the cheese to melt and white to solidify. Top with the cheese bread slice, cut in half, and serve.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Granola Bars

Here's some lessons I've learned in my first month of graduate school:

1.) Thou shalt covet printer ink- That shiz runs out faster than Rick Perry at a Mitt Romney fundraiser.
2.) Thou shalt ruin thy eyeballs by placing four book pages on one printed page- It's the cost of being an environmentalist, bro. Not to mention a cheapass.
3.) Thou shalt ingest grand amounts of granola bars- The ultimate "I'm starving but I must scrutinize these last 4,000 pages vilifying postpositivism" snack.

So when I volunteered to make granola bars for my fellow grad students, including a self-described granola connoisseur, the pressure was on. A battle royale between me and those corporate jokers over at Quaker, if you will.

I always get nervous about serving others my food. What if something's wrong with my tastebuds? Do these granola bars that I love actually taste like the back-end of a diseased bobcat?

But these got the thumbs up from my granola experts, temporarily setting all diseased bobcat fears aside. I'll even suggest bleeding out some printer ink for this recipe-- it's that good.

Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Granola Bars   Makes 1 dozen bars
3 1/4 cups old fashioned oats
1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon salt
¾ cup brown sugar
½ cup pumpkin puree
¼ cup applesauce
¼ cup honey
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup chocolate chips


1.) Preheat oven to 350. 
2.) Meanwhile, add oats, the spices, and salt into a large bowl. Stir to combine.
3.) In a separate bowl, add the brown sugar, pumpkin, applesauce, honey, and vanilla extract. Mix well. 
4.) Add the wet ingredients to the oats. Mix until all of the oats are moist, then fold in the chocolate chips.
5.) Press the oats into a greased 8 x 8 inch baking pan. Bake for 30-35 minutes, or until golden brown. Let cool and cut into twelve bars.


Recipe very slightly adapted from: Two Peas & their Pod

Spinach and Cheesy Artichoke Bella Burgers

A lot of people ask how I get my meal inspirations. One way is to yell across aisles at people with good stuff in their grocery carts:

"HEY! WHAT ARE THOSE BREASTS FOR? I'M MORE OF A THIGH LADY, MYSELF. OF COURSE I'M TALKING ABOUT THE CHICKEN, PERV!"

That's not my method.

Yet I have been tempted to ask how one uses a jar of pickled pigs feet. The only way I know is to pop the container open, smell it, die, revive, then throw the piggy's piggies away.

Restaurant menus are a far better for meal inspiration. I saw a local restaurant offering spinach-artichoke dip on a burger, thought it was the most genius combo since PB&J, and made it my own using portobellos-- mainly 'cause I didn't have beef.

Try Google-ing some menus and get inspired! I think the inspiration process might get vaulted to an even higher degree if you listen to "Chariots of Fire" on repeat. Or just make this burger. No inspirational adjustments needed.

Spinach and Cheesy Artichoke Bella Burgers    Serves: 1
1 portobello mushroom, stem removed
1 t. olive oil
1 cup fresh spinach
1.5 T. cream cheese
1 T. parmesan cheese
2 artichoke hearts (from a jar), chopped
2 slices sandwich bread (or a hamburger bun, if you've got it)
Salt and pepper
1.) Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Drizzle the mushroom with the teaspoon of oil and sprinkle with salt. Roast on a baking sheet for 10-15 minutes, or until tender and golden.
2.) Meanwhile, heat a skillet over medium heat. When warm, add a tablespoon of water to the skillet and throw in the spinach. Stir until wilted and remove to a bowl.
3.) Toss the warm spinach with the artichoke hearts, cream cheese, and parmesan cheese. Season with salt and pepper.
4.) Place the roasted portobello on a slice of sandwich bread. Top with the spinach and artichokes and remaining slice of bread.

Cheesy Spinach and White Bean Portobellos

I've got a beef with the over-usage of "random." It's not a big, porterhouse steak beef though. More like a deli-sliced roast beef beef, you know? Just an annoyance.

Anyways, there seems to be an abundance of the R word. Here's a recent scenario I witnessed:
Girl 1- I ordered a steak quesadilla at the student union last night.
Girl 2- I got the chicken.
Girl 1- I know! And then I, like, totally wanted a chicken quesadilla. I'm so effing random! 


No. Random personalities decide on a whim that riding a motorized pleather couch while pulling sausages from your left ear is a solid Saturday-afternoon activity. An altered beef-to-poultry craving is pretty predictable, and really, quite understandable.

How can a young collegian say no to chicken, cheese, and tortillas? It's ok, Girl 1. You'll learn.

Where I'm attempting to go with this long-winded story is to everyone's favorite fungi: portobellos! So I'm sitting in statistics, calculating the standard deviation of how long it takes Nancy Graaaayyyyccceee to say her own name (6.2 seconds), when a truly random, wholly unpredictable thought smacks my brain: I want a portobello mushroom. One the size of my face. And baked with cheese.

Like, random! 

Cheesy Spinach and White Bean Portobellos    Serves: 1
2 cups fresh spinach
1 T. cream cheese
salt and pepper
crushed red pepper flakes
1/8 t. worcestershire sauce
2 T. white beans
1 T. grated parmesan
1 t. olive oil
1 whole portobello mushroom, stem removed

1.) Preheat your oven to 425 degrees.
2.) Meanwhile, heat a skillet over medium heat. Add a splash of water (around 1 T.) and add the spinach. Cook until wilted and remove from heat. Stir in the cream cheese, beans, worcestershire sauce, and a pinch of red pepper flakes. Season with salt and pepper and set aside.
3.) Pour the oil over the portobello and season with a pinch of salt. Place on a greased baking sheet (gill side up) and bake for 5 minutes.
4.) After 5 minutes, stuff the mushroom with the spinach. Top with the parmesan and bake for 10-12 more minutes, or until cheese is bubbly and golden.

Pecan Salad with Honey Vinaigrette

Fall has been incessantly knocking at my apartment door lately. That bastard.

Doesn't he know I'd rather it be Publisher's Clearing House?

So I gently cracked open the door, stuck out a tanned summer leg, and Fall had the audacity to strike me with a fresh set of goosebumps. So I slammed the door in that joker's autumnal face.

Yeah, happy equinox to you too, buddy!

But a girl's gotta leave her apartment sooner or later, so I eventually slid back door's security chain (in a new pair of skinny jeans, of course), and received a more welcome Fall greeting: a fragrance of pumpkin spice lattes, squash, long-simmering stews, and fun-size Snickers bars. Ok, Fall. Let's do this.

Pecan Salad with Honey Vinaigrette     Serves: 1
Dressing:
1 t. olive oil
1/2 t. red wine vinegar
1/8 t. dijon mustard
1/8 t. honey
Pinch of salt and pepper

Handful of salad greens
1 cup cubed squash (I used acorn, but any will work)
1 t. olive oil
1 T. crumbled blue cheese
1 T. pecans
Salt and pepper

1.) Whisk all of the dressing ingredients together in a small bowl. Set aside.
2.) Meanwhile, preheat your oven to 450. Toss the cubed squash with one teaspoon of olive oil and a pinch of salt and pepper. Roast for 10-15 minutes, or until golden.
3.) Toss the salad greens, roasted squash, blue cheese, and pecans together. Drizzle the honey vinaigrette over the top. Enjoy!

Mixed Greens and Mozzarella Pizza

Pizza is good. Cheese pizza is even better. But what would happen if your waiter fell, slammed your side salad on top of your pizza, then served it anyways? Great things, my friends. Great and tasty things.

And it'd be added to the list of historical happy accidents, I'd say! Waffle cones are one, potato chips another, and  my parents are still trying to push my younger, fart-faced sister as one.

That had better be an accident by way of The Stork screwing up house numbers. Gross, man.

Let's get back to the pizza. The cool thing is you don't have to trip any wait staff to taste it. (Which I don't recommend doing. Ever.) Pocketless pita bread serves as a perfect foundation for personal 'zas. You can personalize the toppings/ salad-- go Greek with feta and olives, ceasar with chicken and parmesan, or Mexican with salsa, jack cheese, and tortilla strips! Phew, I'm getting hungry.

Overall, though, let's get to the heart of the matter: serving salad on a pizza is one less dish you have to clean. And that's more time devoted to theories of partisan realignment, bro!

Mixed Greens and Mozzarella Pizza     Serves: 1
1 (pocketless) pita bread
1/4 cup marinara sauce
Couple slices of mozzarella cheese
1 cup mixed salad greens
2 t. extra virgin olive oil
1 t. red wine vinegar
1 T. parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper

1.) Whisk the oil, vinegar, and a pinch of salt and pepper together in a bowl. Add the salad greens and parmesan. Toss to coat.
2.) Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Spread the marinara on the pita bread, leaving a "crust" around the edges, and layer on the mozzarella. Place in the oven and bake for 10-15 minutes, or until the pita is crisp and cheese is melted and bubbly.
3.) Remove pizza from the oven and top with the salad. Slice and enjoy.

Eggs in Marinara

There are many things I've had to get used to in my new college town. New experiences such as:

Living on my own: One of life's most underrated luxuries.
Hilly terrain: I'm not talking about bread when I say my buns are a-burnin'.
HUGE grocery stores: Who needs the gym when buying milk is a 3 mile round-trip? Maybe Corporate America does care about our nation's health crisis.

Mmm...nah.

Anyways, when stores carry enough merchandise to fill small Eastern-European nations, simple decisions become complex. Like marinara sauce. All I wanted was a jar for these baked eggs. But then a wall of red filled my vision, emerging formidably from the floor, as if it were a looming Italian Grandmother berating me for irreverently purchasing marinara.

Four cheese, basil and olive, chunky, smooth, smoothly-chunky, and chunkily-smooth were all options. And then you've got ones proclaiming "heart healthy." Wait a minute, aren't all tomato sauces supposed to be good for the ol' ticker?

Ugh, the stresses of first world society.

This delicious egg and tomato dish will cook up quicker than the time it takes to select your sauce. Or just give into the Italian Grandma pressure and make your own chunky-smooth-basilolivecheeseroastedredpeppertomato marinara.

Eggs in Marinara    Serves: 1
1-2 eggs, depending on how hungry you are
1/2 cup marinara sauce
Salt and pepper
1 T. parmesan cheese
Fresh bread for scooping up the sauce
1.) Pour the marinara sauce in a skillet and heat over medium low. Spread the marinara throughout the pan, then crack an egg (or two) in the middle. Cook until whites are almost set, then cover for around a minute until the top sets but yolk is runny. Sprinkle with salt and pepper.
2.) Carefully scoop onto a plate and scatter parmesan on top. Serve with bread.

Roasted Butternut Squash and Hummus Plate

If you haven't noticed already, I'm a squash fan. They're affordable, filling, and twenty-billion kinds of tasty.

And the actual word is awesome. SquashSquashSquash. Say it ten times fast! Your tongue will be tanglier than Rapunzel's hair after a cross-country convertible road trip!

My Mom bestowed the squash upon me before heading back to school. (No money, though. Bummer.) Anyways, I honestly wasn't quite sure what I was going to do with it. I had loads of questions, too, such as:
How the heck do you cut it?
Does it keep for very long?
What can I make?
Should I get a "bootylicious" tramp stamp?

Wait, forget about that last one.

Turns out roasting it with a bit of olive oil, salt, and pepper is one of the easiest (and tastiest!) ways to eat butternut squash. Scoop on some hummus, spinach salad, and bread/pita, and you've got an insanely quick and cheap meal.

Roasted Butternut Squash and Hummus Plate   Serves: 1
1 cup cubed butternut squash
2 t. olive oil
Salt and pepper

Baby spinach
Feta, goat, or blue cheese (whatever you've got!)
1 t. olive oil

Hummus
Plain yogurt
Bread or pita
1.) Preheat your oven (or toaster oven...I highly recommend these when you're cooking for one) to broil.
2.) Toss the butternut squash with 2 t. olive oil and season with a pinch of salt and pepper. Place in a baking sheet and broil for 6-8 minutes, or until the cubes are a nice golden brown.
3.) Assemble the plate. Add the bread, a scoop of hummus, and a scoop of plain yogurt. Pile on some spinach and sprinkle with cheese and a bit of oil. Add the roasted squash and enjoy!

Idea from: Pinch of Yum

Butternut Squash Mac n' Cheese

Hey! How was everyone's Labor Day? Burger-loaded? Hot dog-tastic? Corn on the cob-ulous?

Unfortunately, that food is now out of season. (But I'm still wearing white, fashion police.) Apples, pumpkin, squash, and fun-sized Snickers bars are now en vogue. I don't have any problem with these harvest-y foods, but it does pain me a bit to know my jean shorts are headed for hibernation.

What can I say? I like my legs to be free and breezy.

Anyways, what better way is there to ring in the fall crop than with a mac n' cheese recipe? The squash certainly makes this dish "healthier", but I don't want to classify it as health food. It's just. plain. good.  So good, in fact, that my leftover-averse self ate it twice in a row.

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Yeah, it totally happened.

Butternut Squash Mac n' Cheese   Serves: 1

1/2 cup uncooked macaroni

1 t. butter

1 t. flour

3 T. milk

1 t. cream cheese

1/4 cup cubed butternut squash (you can buy a whole one and cut it yourself or get it pre-cut)

1/4 cup grated cheddar cheese

Salt and pepper

Paprika

1.) Bring a pot of salted water to a boil. Add macaroni and butternut squash. Cook according to package directions, drain, and scoop out the butternut cubes. (By the time the pasta is done the squash will be tender). Mash the squash in a small bowl and season with a pinch of salt and pepper. Set aside.

2.) Meanwhile, melt the butter in a small pot over medium low heat. Whisk in the flour and let cook for 1-2 minutes. Add milk and whisk to remove lumps. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the mixture is thick enough to coat the back of a spoon and lumps are gone.

3.) Stir in the cheddar cheese, cream cheese, and mashed squash. Season with a pinch of salt and pepper, then pour in the cooked macaroni. Stir until well incorporated and remove to a plate. Sprinkle with a bit of paprika and eat!

Adapted from In Sock Monkey Slippers

Jalapeno Popper Grilled Cheese

This sandwich is mean. It's angry and raging with capsaicin. But it's a good hurt, just like John Mellencamp 's Hurts So Good implies every day on soft-rock radio nationwide.

Or is it John Cougar Mellencamp? I don't know. I'm of the *NSYNC era.

The fresh jalapeno will open up a major can of whoop-ass on your tastebuds. But never fear! A gooey, melted two-cheese combo heroically swoops in to save you from ultimate sensory annihilation. The cream cheese has a bit of a cooling effect, and really, what doesn't taste good with melted cheddar?

Since this sandwich takes about 5 minutes to make, and if you're not a spice pansy like me, you may have time for a whole jalapeno-themed meal: jalapeno popper appetizers, jalapeno popper grilled cheese, and the borderline terrifying, Chocolate and Peanut Butter Stuffed Jalapenos.

Or just slam the sandwich and get back to your homework.

Jalapeno Popper Grilled Cheese   Serves: 1
2 slices sandwich bread
1 T. whipped cream cheese
1 small fresh jalapeno (Or use pickled. It isn't as spicy!), SEEDS REMOVED and sliced
1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 t. butter
Sour cream (optional, but good for dipping)

1.) Spread the cream cheese on one bread slice. Top with the sliced jalapeno. Add the shredded cheddar and top with remaining bread slice.
2.) Heat a skillet over medium heat. Butter the top bread slice and place face-down in the pan. Butter the other slice while cooking in the skillet. Flip once golden and let the other side brown. Cut in half and serve.

Adapted from: Closet Cooking