Top 2011 Recipes + 2012 Thoughts

Well, we've reached the point to pull the proverbial plug on that old, wheezy 2011. Playing off of that hackneyed metaphor, Mother Time should be experiencing agonizing contractions at 5-minute intervals by now. 2012 is mercilessly writhing within that birth canal, itching to bring forth the Earth's eventual Mayan Calendar doom.

"But no," spouts NYE host Ryan Seacrest, "Mother Time shall not deliver 2012 until the world receives ample time to gape at my golden locks! Ogle my outfit! Wonder when Simon Cowell will approach with a british-y snide, cutting remark!"

Don't worry, Ryan. Lady Gaga will steal your thunder anyways. And probably your haircut. And possibly your trademark skinny suit and tie.

But without further ado, I present the College Culinarian's top recipes of 2011:
1.) Avocado Breakfast Quesadilla A solid #1 choice, friends.
2.) Slow-Cooker Smoked Pulled Pork Many piggies went to market for the number of hits this got.
3.) Spaghetti Carbonara for One Carbs comin' in hot for the #3 spot!

Happy 2012, everyone! And if you stumble upon the opportunity to get this tattoo, do it!, 'cause WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE NEXT DECEMBER!

Roasted Pepper and Cheese Pinwheels

Ah, the holidays are pretty much over. It's a time for trees to lose their unnatural rainbow lightings and festive snow to become...icky, soul-crushing snow. 

Wait, what's that knocking on my cranium's door? Oh, it's 2012! Sorry, man. Didn't mean to forget you. Guess I was a bit hesitant to recognize your presence since, you know, you're supposedly bringing about the apocalypse.

This would be a great NYE appetizer. I don't know about you, but I'm sort of over ingesting 10,000 calories per day. The pinwheels are fairly healthy, delicious, and cheap. On the other hand, omitting the feta for some bacon strips would be killer. Hey, if you feel the world is truly on the fritz, celebrate the beginning of the end with some crispy pork product! If not, try the recipe as is and get a head start on that New Year's health resolution!

Roasted Pepper and Cheese Pinwheels
5 spinach tortilla wraps
1 container whipped cream cheese
1/2 cup feta cheese, crumbled
1 T. lemon juice
2 T. fresh parsley, finely chopped
1 jar roasted red peppers
Salt and pepper

1.) Add cream cheese and lemon juice to a bowl. Fold in the feta and parsley. Season with a pinch of salt and pepper.
2.) Spread a large spoonful (1/4 cup? Just eyeball it) of the cheese over a tortilla. Spread until almost to the edges. Place 3-4 strips of red pepper across the tortilla, then roll up. Repeat until all tortillas are filled. Carefully slice and serve on a platter. 

Peppermint Brownie Trifle

Well, I've been on break for approximately 48 hours. And I'm already bored. Really bored. I hula-hooped for 10 minutes, played Life with my sister, and pondered the invention of Laughing Cow cheese. Also, I can neither confirm nor deny large spans of time spent in Hello Kitty flannel pants.

Oh, academia. How I miss thee! Shower me with thine knowledge and institutional theories. 

However, all this free time allowed me to reflect upon this peppermint brownie trifle. It is, in a way, the perfect dessert: dark chocolate, white chocolate, brownies, and hey, the mint practically brushes your teeth for you! 

Wait, no. Mints probably are not a valid replacement for the excavating power of toothbrush bristles. 

Anyways, it's fabulous for the holidays, New Year's celebrations, birthday parties, or Chocoholics Anonymous get-togethers. Just be sure it all gets eaten at the event, or it starts sounding mysteriously delicious as a breakfast.

Peppermint Brownie Trifle     Serves: 12

1 box brownie mix

1 box white chocolate pudding, prepared according to package directions

1 box dark chocolate pudding, prepared according to package directions

1 Cool-Whip container

Handful (1 cup?) peppermint candies, crushed

1.) Bake brownies according to package directions. Let cool completely and cut into bite-sized squares.

2.) Meanwhile, prepare the puddings in separate bowls. Divide the cool-whip between the puddings and set aside. 

3.) Crush the peppermints. A food processor works nicely for the mints! 

3.) In a large, clear bowl, place a layer of brownies. Add a layer of white chocolate pudding, dark chocolate pudding, and a handful of crushed peppermints. Repeat until the bowl is filled.

Adapted from: Dashing Dish

Donut Tree

This isn't so much a recipe as it is a craft project. A craft project involving donut holes. And lots of them.

Normally, arts and crafts ain't my thang. I made a bookshelf in my high school's "Industrial Arts 101"that my father thought of highly enough to turn into a doorstopper. "Fabrics 101" left me with a crooked zipper dress and higher blood pressure. And any talk of dioramas made me want to die-orama.

But when the sugary middles of donuts enter the picture, how can one turn down a crafting opportunity? I must sheepishly admit this is a Sandra Lee Semi-Homemade idea. But if you make this for a holiday party, please keep in the Sandra spirit and down a couple of cocktails while constructing it.

Happy donut-ing! (And possibly drinking!)

Donut Tree
1 styrofoam cone (whatever size you like. I used the largest one available)
70 powdered donut holes (depending on the size of the cone, of course!)
1 bag jelly spice drops
1 can cream cheese frosting
Toothpicks

1.) Poke toothpicks into the cone and spear a donut hole on each one. When cone is filled with donuts, prepare the frosting. Add the frosting into a ziploc bag and cut a hole in one corner. Pipe frosting in between the donuts. Place the jelly spice drops in toothpicks and arrange around the tree. Add any extras to the bottom as "presents." Laugh and enjoy!

Toasted Penne with Mushrooms

Make anything golden, roasted, toasty, warm, bronzed, and/or fiery, and you can bet it will please your tastebuds to a higher degree. 


Ah, yes. The bad jokes have returned!

Think about it-- which would you rather eat: plain ol' ice cream or a hot fudge sundae? A cheese sandwich or a grilled cheese sandwich? A cold beer or a steaming hot beer?

Wait. Forget about that last one.

Toasting dry pasta before boiling it gives the italian staple a deeper, richer flavor. Since pasta is incredibly cheap, I'm always looking for new ways to liven it up. It will work for all kinds of pasta shapes, but I was in a tube-mood for this dinner.

Toasted Penne with Mushrooms    Serves: 1
3/4 cup dry penne pasta
2 t. olive oil
1/2 cup sliced mushrooms (any kind you like)
1 T. chopped onion
1 T. cream cheese
1 T. parmesan cheese
Salt and pepper

1.) Heat 1 t. olive oil in a small skillet over medium high heat. When hot, add the uncooked pasta. Let toast, stirring occasionally, until the pasta becomes golden brown (not burnt!). Remove from skillet and toss into salted boiling water. Cook until al dente, then drain and set aside.
2.) Meanwhile, heat the remaining teaspoon of olive oil in the skillet over medium heat. Add the onion, mushrooms, and a dash of salt and pepper. Cook until mushrooms are soft and golden and onion is translucent. Reduce heat to low, then add the cream cheese and parmesan. Toss with the cooked pasta. Season with additional salt and pepper, if needed.

Slow-Cooked Texas Baked Beans

I'M DONE! I SURVIVED! CUE EYE OF THE TIGER!
POUR ME SOME BOXED WINE AND BUDGET CHEESE!

Well, almost. I still have a heaping pile of undergrad tests and papers to grade. But after finishing my other work, grading feels about as easy as slipping on velcro shoes.

I had myself a bit worried near the end. A Selena Gomez song popped up on the radio and exhaustion left my tune-changing arm hanging limply by my side. I left my freezer open overnight. I found gum stuck to the crown of my head and DIDN'T EVEN REMEMBER CHEWING GUM.

But I still cooked and chopped and sliced and diced and slept and applied fake-tanner. This was one of the meals that helped retain my sanity.

Slow-Cooked Texas Baked Beans Serves: 2 as a main  
(*Note: I have a small 1.5 quart slow-cooker. Recipe can be adjusted for larger ones.)
1/4 lb. ground sirloin
1/8 can chopped green chiles
1 (7 oz) can baked beans
1/4 small onion, chopped
2 T. barbecue sauce
1/2 t. garlic powder
1/2 t. chile powder
1/2 cup uncooked macaroni
1 green onion (green part only), sliced

1.) Brown the sirloin in a skillet over medium heat. Set in a colander over a bowl to drain the fat.
2.) Meanwhile, add the green chiles, baked beans, onion, barbecue sauce, garlic, and chile powder to the slow-cooker base. Stir in the meat.
3.) Cover and cook on high for 2 hours or low for 4-5 hours. During the last 15 minutes of cooking, boil the macaroni in salted water. Cook to al dente, drain, and add to the baked beans. Serve with sliced green onion.

Adapted from: All Recipes

Mini-Break

Hey, readers!

Well, the end of the semester has arrived, meaning my ability to type anything other than "partisan coalitional change" and "punctuated-equilibrium theory" is reaching zero. So I need to take a little blogging break before my brain breaks. Brake before I break, if you will.

Deep, man.

But don't worry! I've got a plethora of recipes on reserve. And they're freakin' good. Plus, I've got a little surprise on the way( -- don't worry, Ma. It's not a baby.). Here's a hint: I'll be constructing some CORPORATELY CORNY jokes.

Aww yeah. The bad jokes are just the beginning, people! See you soon!

Katie

Oh, and here's a deep-fried dollar. God Bless America.